


Are you feeling it NOW, Mr Krabs?

by poppy_pendragon



Category: Moana (2016)
Genre: M/M, This ship will take off and it will be glorious, can i make it anymore obvious, crackfic title but I assure this is not a crackfic, he was a crab, he was a demi god, this is the real deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:05:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8726641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppy_pendragon/pseuds/poppy_pendragon
Summary: Maui and Tamatoa get drunk, go back to Tamatoa's cave and, well... You know. Set 2000 or so years before Moana.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hello. It's me again. You may remember me from such titles as Mistletoe, and... some deeply hidden Merida/Elsa fics on tumblr. Because I like ruining disney with weird weird weird ass shipping that I get truly invested in, I give you: MAUATOA. Read it. Accept it. Live it.

            Maui felt at ease in Lalotai. He was huge in the mortal world, but down in the realm of monsters, he was tiny. Despite it, Maui felt no fear among creatures that tripled, quadrupled his size. He knew full well that size wasn’t what mattered. Hell, if size mattered at all, he wouldn’t be listening to Tamatoa of all people (crabs?) bitterly refer to himself as a bottom-feeder while smashed at the bar.

            “… Not fucking shiny enough,” Tamatoa mumbled. He downed a kakamora husk shot before crushing the shell between his claws. “Gotta sparkle..”

            Maui shook his head and chuckled gently, clapping Tamatoa on the shell, a gesture that the crab surely couldn’t feel. “Buddy, you’re damn sparkly enough. You don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.”

Tamatoa glanced through heavy-lidded eyes at Maui, blinking slowly, one eye than the next. “What’s the fuckin’ wrong idea, man?”

            Maui pursed his lips, realizing his mildly-insensitive comment. He tried to be good, PC, or whatever the fuck the humans were into these days. He set his drink down, put his hands up apologetically – and maybe a little defensively. “I don’t mean it’s _wrong,_ I just mean it might be wrong about _you._ Not wrong. Just not… you. You know?”

            “Being shiny doesn’t make you gay, baby,” Tamatoa slurred, “it makes you beautiful.”

            Maui tried not to grin, failed, and tried harder. The bartender brought Tamatoa another shot, which he downed in an instant.

            “Think you should slow it down there, buddy?” Maui asked, although he was in deep himself. He was either drunk, or Tamatoa was _literally_ glowing. It was hard to say which, but both options made him ready to ask for his bill.

            Tamatoa snapped his claw together sarcastically, an imitation of Maui’s mouth. “Think you should slow it down?” He mimed in a too high, less-accented voice. “I’ll slow down when I’m damn ready to, you little semi-demi-mini-god. We don’t all have the tolerance of a guppy.”

            Maui scrunched his eyebrows together. “Guppies are freshwater fish, how do you even… You… Nevermind, whatever. I’m taking you home man. Can I get a bill here?”

            After three attempts at leaving, and Tamatoa nearly wrecking the bar when he didn’t have enough cash and had to pay with a golden fork from his back, they left.

            It’d been awhile since Maui had been to Tamatoa’s cave, and the crab’s growing obsession with being glam and shiny was certainly more evident than it had been before. The middle of the cave was piled high with treasure, and it was immediately where Tamatoa flumped with a sigh when they arrived. Maui sauntered in after him, looking around.

            “Shiny,” he commented, knowing it’d make Tamatoa grin.

            “Oh, but babe, wait. This,” he jabbed a claw toward the roof of the cave, “is the best part.”

            An array of fish suddenly burst from the ceiling and into Tamatoa’s open waiting jaws. His tongue ran along his lips as he chewed, loudly mmm-ing. Maui was both impressed and disgusted. He absently looped his fish hook through a gold crown that was laying in the treasure pile and began to spin it around the tip. Tamatoa watched before reaching a claw over and running it along the side of the hook.

            “Your hook would look great on me, even if it doesn’t glitter.”

            “Oh, it can glitter,” Maui said, raising his hook enthusiastically and making it magically glow blue for a moment. Tamatoa’s eyes lit up. He snapped his claw toward it.

            “Ah-buh-buh! My shiny.” Maui said, holding it out of the crabs reach.

            “Come on Maui-man, I’ll give it back.”

            Maui pointed at himself, shifting his weight to one leg. “Maui. Demi-god. Legendary trickster. I’m not going to fall for that. Woah, wait –“ he was lifted into the air by Tamatoa’s massive claw, and brought toward the glittering bed his friend lounged upon. He was dropped into a golden throne where he sat eye level with Tamatoa.

            “How bout this, I keep you _and_ the hook here?” His wandering claws were now tracing up Maui’s calf. Sharp, but not enough to break the skin, unless Tamatoa wanted it to. Maui raised an eyebrow.

            “Yeah, I don’t think the humans would like that. They sort of need me.”

            “And you need them, but stick with me and I’ll give you all the damn praise that you could want.”

            Maui chuckled, “Dude, you’re wasted. Are you even listening to yourself?”

            Tamatoa’s face inched closer, as large as Maui was, and his breath was a combination of raw fish and alcohol. “Am I giving you the wrong idea?”

            Maui felt his neck getting warm, and then his cheeks. He looked anywhere but Tamatoa’s enormous face. The tip of Tamatoa’s claw was on his thigh now. “I don’t know what idea you’re giving me.”

            “Oh my, is little Maui getting embarrassed?” His free claw tilted Maui’s chin towards him, forcing the demi-god to make eye contact. Tamatoa grinned wide. His other claw wandered further up Maui’s leg, stopping and lingering a moment before dragging across his groin. “Adorable.”

            Maui gasped loud and jolted away, breathing, “Dude, what the fuck?”

            “Oops,” Tamatoa said, casually going back to stroking Maui’s thigh. Maui took a deep breath and relaxed a little. This was weird. Tamatoa was weird, he always was, but this was _weird-_ weird. Weirder than normal. He felt pretty messed up himself, probably from the alcohol and how goddamn close Tamatoa was to him. He was definitely more than half-hard, even before Tamatoa touched him. Fuck.

            Tamatoa’s claw was on him again, moving slowly. He shuddered, but didn’t move away this time. “Great Ta'aroa,” Maui murmured. Tamatoa’s giant eyes, half-lidded and amused, watched the way Maui’s face twisted through emotions, until finally settling on lust. “Goddamnit,” the demi-god said.

            “You’re so cute when you’re grinding against me,” Tamatoa noted, while Maui began to rut against the claw, his hand running along its rough side.

            “Shut up,” Maui said through ragged breaths. His eyes fluttered shut as he rolled his hips again.

             “Open your eyes, let's begin.” Tamatoa said mockingly in an almost sing-song tone. “Yes, it's really me, it's Tamatoa: breathe it in!” His laugh vibrated through his body. Maui slapped a hand over his face, grinning despite himself. “Oh my god,” he said.

"I know it's a lot: your hair, your bod! When you're fucking a hot demi-god!”

“We’re not even fucking,” Maui grunted, “This is… dry humping at best.”

“There’s still time.”

“You’d like that,” Maui said. He was beginning to grind harder now. Between Tamatoa’s teasing words and the way he moved his claw to meet Maui’s rutting, he was getting close. He tried to laugh, but every few moments his face would drop, mouth hanging open, eyes scrunched closed while he got closer.

He felt the tingle in the pit of his stomach, his groaning getting louder, more urgent. He bucked hard against the claw, opening his eyes only to see the way Tamatoa’s got more excited as he finally brought Maui to climax. His giant grin only made Maui cum harder.

He was panting and clinging to the claw, a sticky uncomfortable spot growing against his thigh.

Tamatoa tilted his head so that he was mere centimeters away from Maui’s face. He drawled, long and mocking, “You’re welcome.” Maui felt his heart squeeze with a combination of embarrassment and arousal. He slipped a hand beneath his grass skirt and out again, fingers slick with his own cum. He smeared it across Tamatoa’s too-close face and grinned. “Shiny.”

           


End file.
